INFIDELITY

IS YOUR SPOUSE CHEATING? Unfortunately there is no magic formula you can conjure up to answer the question:  "Is my spouse/partner cheating?"  But the question is valid and there are signs which may indicate infidelity in a relationship.  The old rule of thumb was: If you need to hire an investigator the relationship is already over.  But times have changed.  Use of the internet, smart phones, and social networking accounts can often lead to misunderstandings and mixed signals.  Falsely accusing a loved one can be as much of a betrayal as infidelity itself.
Still, there are signs that might suggest your spouse, loved one, or partner is cheating:

1.  Phone, phone, phone.  Did I mention the phone?  Nearly everyone has a smart phone these days and they record loads of data.  If your partner is changing habits with his or her phone, then this is a strong indicator that something is amiss.  Locking the phone, keeping on his or her person obsessively, or walking out of the room to take and receive calls is clue number one.

2.  Drugs or Alcohol.  If you notice a change in the amount of alcohol or drugs your partner is using, this can be an indicator.  Does he/she come home from work with alcohol breath?  Are they spending more time with "friends" who use drugs or alcohol?  Substance abuse can be an indicator of many different problems, but combined with other factors, they may suggest infidelity.

3.  Changes in Sexual Behavior.  Does he/she want less sex?  Or does he/she want you to do things out of character.  Variances in sexual behavior are another sign that your partner may be having an affair.  Now, there are a multitude of explanations for changes in sexual behavior - many of them for the better.  But, taken as a whole, does this behavior fit with your partner's lifestyle or not.

4.  The Nose Knows.  Every man, woman and child understands this because at some point in life we have been caught.  When we were teenagers our parents would call us out for smelling like cigarette smoke or beer.  As a  result, every one of us knows to get rid of the smell.  That means showering, perfume or cologne.  An obvious example is your partner coming home from work smelling freshly showered.  More obvious is if you smell perfume or cologne that you don't recognize.

5.  A Sudden Need for Privacy.  If things you used to share openly suddenly become private, then pay attention.  Passwords on the computer may be changed, browsing history erased, credit card and cell phone bills may be hidden.   If you ask why or attempt to find out the information you'll be accused of snooping.  This is a huge warning sign.
Any of these signs by themselves are not cause to accuse your partner of cheating.  But if there is a pattern emerging or a drastic change in behavior, then it is possible you have a cheating spouse.  Still, technology has changed the game and even if all of these signs are present there may be a completely innocent explanation.  When in doubt. . . check it out.  It's better to have someone detached from the situation evaluate the situation.  While catching your partner in an illicit affair can be devastating, so can accusing an innocent person of a horrible indiscretion.